Reflections of mine with Leo Tolstoy together with the WOG Luke 9.
Peter's confession of Christ (Lk 9 : 20- )
"But what about you ?", he asked. " Who do you say I am?" .Peter answered, "The Christ of God".
(other Gospels say, " You are the son of the living God".) The Gospel continues
....Then he said to them all, "If any one would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross 'daily' and follow me. For whoever wants to save his life will lost it, but whoever loses his life for me will save it....
One of the word of God, which has influenced me a lot in my daily life. I was recollecting, how I was trying to understand this mysterious words of Jesus when I heard a year back in Taize.At first, it didn't give me much trouble. But later, I was made to hear this again and again. It striked a bell in me, I should say it pierced my heart, it has wounded my heart a lot that no other WOG has touched me like this and yet I don't know why.I remember writing long long pages on this particular word of God then. Yes , it has influenced me in every aspect of my life from then on. I could count on how my life has changed from then on.
I have proclaimed HIM as my saviour, as my Lord, I know HIM better now, but have I understood what my cross is ?
How to deny myself ? How to deny the worldly desires in me for HIM?
Have I heard His voice in my heart? How To follow HIS will in my life ?
'To follow my heart' !
As my life started changing on this WOG, I could see how the good and the evil change their places !
Interesting !
Its like the good thief !
Leo Tolstoy explains this better than me ... :)
'All that was on his right is now on his left, and all that was on his left was on his right; his former wish to get as far as possible from home has changed into a wish to be as near as possible to it. the direction of my life and my desires became different and good and evil changed places. I. like the thief on the cross, have believed Christ's teaching and been saved. And this is no far-fetched comparison, but the closest experience of the condition of spiritual despair and horror at the problem of life & death in which I lived formerly, and of the condition of peace & happiness in which I'm now. I, like the thief , knew that I was unhappy & suffering... I,like the thief to the cross, was nailed by some force , ( of my own sins, i believe) to that life of suffering and evil. And, as after the meaningless sufferings & evils of life, the thief awaited the terrible darkness of death, so did I await the same thing.
In all this I was exactly like the thief, but the difference was that the thief was already dying, while I was still living. The thief might believe that his salvation lay there beyond the grave, but I could not be satisfied with that, because besides a life beyond the grave life still awaited me here. But I did not understand that life. It seemed to be terrible. And suddenly I heard the words of the Christ
"But what about you ?", he asked. " Who do you say I am?" .Peter answered, "The Christ of God".... Then he said to them all, "If any one would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross 'daily' and follow me. For whoever wants to save his life will lost it, but whoever loses his life for me will save it....
....It striked a bell in me, I should say it pierced my heart, it has wounded my heart a lot that no other WOG has touched me like this and yet I don't know why.I remember writing long long pages on this particular word of God then. Yes , it has influenced me in every aspect of my life from then on. I could count on how my life has changed from then on.....
and understood them, and life and death ceased to seem to me evil, and instead of despair I experienced happiness and the joy of life undisturbed by death.
And now I understand better,what 'Patience' is, what 'Hope' is ,& what is exactly 'Life in HIM' !
