A ring, A cup of Coffee & a Strange visitor !

A ring: : It’s the month of October. I have been here, in Rome for 3 months. But nothing has changed in me, except the language. And also my concept about rings, yes FINGER RINGS! Why do people wear fingerings? To show the power or for just a ‘show off’? As I know, it has been always a sign of security, power & peace.Whatever, now a days, I have finger rings on both my hands. I’m happy & I’m saved !

A cup of Coffee :The Italians like ‘coffee’ a lot! And of course the Indians, we do like it. Strangely, it’s been a week of coffees for me. New friendships, new relations, new fellowships, everything begin, may be end as well, on a cup of coffee. When you are done with your coffee, you would have known the other person very well.

Fr.Yesudas, a person of sarcastic jokes, as well as a person of wisdom! We met, we talked, we argued, we discussed, we shared many lighter moments, and then a cup of coffee! That was perfect.

Bro.Josh, a good looking guy of the Lord, with the innocence and joy of the Almighty, who, anxiously waits, to be touched by the anointing oil of the most high priest! We too met on a cup of coffee, it might be the last one of ours.

Again, coffees & coffees! It seems, my world revolves around on ‘cups of coffees’ here.Thanks to the coffees of Fr.Yesudas & Bro.Josh !

A strange Guest : I’m still staying in the guest room of my college. Dhanya moved away to her permanent room. I’m still here for some reasons, which I never know. On the day that she moved out, I was alone and I was sad, for many reasons. For the first time in my life in Rome, I missed my mom. I was frustrated for many reasons!

But to my surprise, I had a strange visitor then. A beautiful fair lady in a blue mantle. She had a golden rosary and her hands always in a prayer gesture.Yes, Our Lady, no, My lady- Madonna, has come to visit me. She has come to stay with me. ‘But why am I favoured, that the mother of my Lord should come to me?’ (Luke 1: 43) May be to pray for me, to be my mom here, to love me, to teach me her lowliness, above all to lead me to HIM. The beautiful statue of Mother Mary, who accompanies us in our JY prayer meetings, is in my room, to share my joy & worries. Welcome my dear mom!

Oh sweet Holy mother, be with me always & protect me from all the evil snares.‘Hail Mary, full of grace, Lord is with you. Blessed are you among the women, and blessed is the fruit of your womb, Jesus. Holy Mary, mother of God, pray for us sinners, now and the hour of our death. Amen.’

Past the memoirs!

Sitting here in Rome, in the eternal city, few memoirs flashed off in my mind.Yes, I have arrived a highest place, a blessed place where the most fervent apostle, Paul, has roamed about! This is the place to which the long, heartbreaking journey has lead me:

From my college days, from the active, programme oriented ‘campus ministry’ life, into the most passionate days I had for Him, from the complexity and abstractness of the ‘Mathematical’ life in CUSAT, into the silence of Taize, into the silence of God- where I discovered deepest craving of my heart ,from the Jubilee graces, miraculously, into the ‘Eternal City’.

But there is a silence in my heart. A silence as of the grave! It seems like a distrust in Him, distrust in myself. Indeed I’m in the grave of hopes with desperate situations around me. A kind of hopelessness surrounds me. An anxiety of the future covers me!

Will there be a ‘multitude’ again for him in the next years,to bear the fruits of the Spirit? If so, will I be there among that ‘multitude’ ?

His voice resounds in me : ‘Who will go for me? Whom shall I send?’ And I could hear the ‘Jubilee song’ ringing out loudly from my cell phone ,‘We are the people anointed and chosen, we are the prophets, a new generation. Righteous and Holy nation, sounding his Praise...Refined, renewed, in Him, Shine out !’

I remained still without the promised hinds’ feet, still outside the high places even with the promise to be laid to Him. I couldn’t stay any longer in my room. I ran to him, like the deer pants for water, to the chapel; to his refining presence in the tabernacle. I was with him for a long time, tears ran down my face. And there came a flash of fire to me right from him; a hand of steel right into my heart. There was a sound of rending and tearing. And after that nothing but ashes remained, either of the love itself which he had been deeply planted in my heart or of the sorrow and suffering which had been my companions on this long, strange journey .A sense of utter, overwhelming peace engulfed me. I could see the ashes in the alter; with complete thanksgiving, I could say “Here I am Lord !”

I repeat the glorious which had been the cause for the starting for the ‘High’ places. “The Sovereign God is my strength; he makes my feet like the feet of a deer, he enables me to go on the heights” (Habakkuk 3:9) Yes, my hope is in the Lord. Christ is our Hope of Glory and I sing aloud,

‘Sing for joy, radiant in love...His resurrection is our celebration , and now filled with his power and grace, refined, renewed in him , Shine Out !